Investigating The Supper Sign-In Initiative at Grier

At Grier, an initiative put in place at the start of the 2024-2025 school year has caused a lot of debate within the community. Mandatory dinner sign-ins, implemented Monday through Thursday, was an old policy that has been reinstated this year in an attempt to foster community, accountability, and wellbeing in the student body. Its introduction has sparked several discussions among students, faculty, and administration about how effective this rule is and how we can balance this new structure with a bustling student life.

Dr. Guydish Buchholz (Dr. GB), the Dean of Student Belonging, explained how the dinner sign-in can act as a form of accountability. “Just like when you have a workout partner, having a system in place encourages students to eat regularly.” The consequence for missing sign-ins is relatively minor, but it can be cumulative. “If a student misses a sign-in, they lose three to four points. Missing twice in a week results in a six-point deduction. If it becomes a habit, it could lead to Saturday study hall or further interventions,” Dr. GB explained. However, the administration emphasizes that the policy is not intended to be punitive, but rather a system of gently holding students accountable.

The dinner sign-in policy is tied to the school’s newest wellness program designed to support students’ mental health. “The latest CDC report in February 2023 showed that anxiety and depression among teenage girls were at an all-time high,” said Head of School, Ms. Lawler. She shared that the goal with all of the school’s new initiatives–whether that be the dinner sign-in, the phone policy, or the big sister-little sister program–is to “build a stronger sense of community because research shows that connection helps improve mental health.” Indeed, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), structured meal times contribute to mental wellbeing by creating a space to bond with others, which in turn helps to reduce stress. According to a study published in Public Health Nutrition, sharing meals has helped lower rates of depression and increased overall well-being in teens. 

Ms. Porter, the Day Student and On-Campus Activity Director, has been at Grier for more than twenty years and notes that this policy is not entirely new. She explained that for the first twelve years of her time at Grier, administrators had dinner duty alongside resident advisers and faculty. “It served as a check-in point, especially before cell phones were common,” Ms. Porter said. “It allowed students to share how their day went and ensured someone had seen them.” Ms. Porter shared that she feels it is crucial that educators or caregivers physically see students at least once a day because “if someone were to be struggling, we want to be there to notice that and support them.” 

While enforcing attendance at dinner is meant to encourage a sense of community and wellbeing, for some this has not been the case. Rather than forming and growing new connections, some students treat the sign-in as a chore, often stopping by just long enough to highlight their name off of the list before leaving. “I walk in, I sign-in, and I walk right out,” said sophomore Ella Daffron. Sophomore Langston Eleby also mentioned how the idea was good, but the execution was less than ideal. Just like Daffron, Eleby said most students go down to the dining hall, sign-in, and leave right away.“It’s kind of ineffective in that way,” she said.

Other students expressed that they feel monitored instead of supported and that those who already have their day jammed packed with activities feel like this new policy is taking away the little free time they have in the day. “I just think that we all have so many different things going on at once that it kind of makes it inconvenient for us,” Daffron said. She explained that between classes, homework, clubs, and sports, having to physically check in at the dining hall every night sometimes feels like an unnecessary extra step rather than a helpful safety measure.

Riders especially struggle with the sign-in policy due to their training schedules, which are inconsistent and change on a daily basis from early in the afternoon to late at night. Daffron broke down how difficult it is for riders to fit dinner into their evening routine. “If you ride at five thirty, you need thirty minutes to tack up, so that means you’ll have to go up to the barn at five.” That would mean students are tacking up at the same time that dinner starts. “Our lessons last an hour and after that you need thirty minutes to untack.” While this would still provide half an hour for riders to get to the dining hall and eat, many feel rushed. 

These concerns have not gone unheard or unnoticed by the school’s administration. “I understand that for students with back-to-back activities, signing in at the dining hall can feel like an added burden,” said Dr. GB. However, she mentioned that the school’s administration is actively looking for solutions in order to help students that have rigorous schedules.

Langston Eleby has suggested one possible solution for riders who struggle to make it to sign-in after their lesson. “I think that your friends should be able to sign you in; or maybe you could call someone and show that you’re there [at the barn] and that you’re okay,” she said.

Another challenge for some students is the distance from their dorms to the dining hall, especially for those who live in the outside cottages that come with built-in kitchens. “Some students have asked about dorm-style dinners or the possibility to cook,” Dr. GB said. “We’re taking in all the feedback and exploring how we can adapt the policy while maintaining its core benefits.” 

Ms. Lawler acknowledged that some students might see the policy as an inconvenience, but she emphasized its importance and purpose. “It’s not about control—it’s about connection,” she said. “We want students to have a space where they can talk, check in with each other, and feel seen.” Ms. Porter reinforced this idea, adding that the policy is about ensuring that students are looked after. “If you were a parent and your child were here, wouldn’t you want them to have someone checking in on them?” said Ms. Porter. 

Beyond simply keeping track of attendance, the new policy is also an attempt to combat the prevalence of eating disorders in teens. For many boarding schools, students’ body image and nutrition has become one of the most pressing concerns. A study from the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) found that nearly 30% of teenagers engage in unhealthy weight control behaviors. Mandatory meal sign-ins, like Grier’s dinner sign-in, can serve as a precaution against these patterns by ensuring that students maintain a regular eating schedule. Harvard’s School of Public Health shows that eating dinner together improves eating habits and reduces the likelihood of developing different eating disorders.

Third-floor resident advisor, Mom Ruthann, pointed out that while some students may find the policy frustrating or annoying, its intentions are important. “It’s about combating teenage anorexia and bulimia,” she said. “Signing in at dinner is essentially a way of saying, ‘I’m going to eat.’” 

While the policy was implemented with the goal of ensuring that students are eating regularly, some students have questioned its effectiveness in fulfilling this goal. “I think it’s a little unnecessary…they’re not actually making sure you eat something. They’re just making sure you come here and sign the paper,” Daffron said. This raises the question of whether the policy is truly encouraging healthy eating habits, or if it’s just simply creating another requirement for students to show up without having any tangible results. 

This new policy also needs to be sensitive to students struggling with body dysmorphia or eating disorders. “We are aware that for some, the pressure to eat in a communal setting can be challenging,” Dr. GB admitted. “That’s why we’re open to feedback and adjustments; this isn’t about surveillance, but about well-being.”

The administration is actively gathering students’ input to make the policy even better. “We’re open to evolving the policy as we see what works and what doesn’t,” Dr. GB stated. “Change takes time; we want to ensure we’re making adjustments that work for both students and staff.”

At Grier, the first test trials of this new policy indicate that the new rule has had a positive impact on students. “The change has been incredibly noticeable; students are actually talking to each other now,” Dr. GB observed. “You can see the difference in noise levels and engagement.”

Ms. Lawler has also already observed noticeable changes. “I don’t see as many girls sitting alone with headphones in anymore,” Ms. Lawler shared. “Now, there’s more conversation, more interaction. It’s small, but it makes a difference.”

As Grier continues to refine this policy and to make it better for both students and staff, the goal remains clear: to ensure that students’ well-being remains the priority in their school life. With the on-going feedback from both students and staff, as well as potential adjustments, Grier aims to create a dinner experience that is mandatory but is also meaningful to all.